The Hardy Scots

50F(10C) degrees
· People in southern England turn on the central heating
· People in Edinburgh plant out bedding plants

40F (4C)degrees
· Southerners shiver uncontrollably
· Glaswegians sunbathe on the beach at Largs

35F(2C} degrees
· Cars in the south of England refuse to start
· People in Falkirk drive with their windows down

20F(-6C) degrees
· Southerners wear overcoats, gloves and woolly hats
· Aberdonian men throw on a T-shirt and girls start wearing mini-skirts

15F(-9.4C) degrees
· Southerners begin to evacuate to the continent
· People from Dundee swim in the North Sea at Broughton Ferry

0F (-17 7C) degrees
· Life in the south grinds to a halt
· Inverness folk have the last BBQ before it gets cold

Minus 10F (-23 3C) degrees
· Life in the south ceases to exist
· People in Dunfermline throw on a light jacket

Minus 80F (-62.2C) degrees
· Polar bears wonder if it's worth carrying on
· Boy Scouts in Oban start wearing their long trousers

Minus 100F (-73 3C degrees)
· Santa Claus abandons North Pole
· People in Stirling put on their 'long Johns'

Minus 173F (-139C) degrees
· Alcohol freezes
· Glaswegians get upset because all the pubs are shut

Minus 297F (-182 7C) degrees
· Microbial life starts to disappear
· The cows in Dumfriesshire complain about farmers with cold hands

Minus 460F (-273 3C) degrees
· All atomic motion stops
· Shetlanders stamp their feet and blow on their hands

Minus 500F (-295.5C) degrees. 0 degrees Kelvin. Absolute Zero!
· Hell freezes over
· Scotland win the World Cup

Always one of my favourite lists.